Octopus On Top
by Gravity Fair
Summary: Squidward is a jerk, but his hidden kindness & affection is showing a lot lately for a certain sponge & a new girl in town. He's torn between wanting solitude from the freaks next door, carrying out what Mr. Krabs needs him to do, & the long legged hottie who can't stand him. Read and review for the new Guy on top! Err, Octopus on top! It's not your average story! SQUIDWARD/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimers and such: **So, first of all I don't own Spongebob Squarepants. Secondly, this fanfic was never on my to-do list. It just sort of happened. I've always loved Spongebob, even though a lot of people got sick of it and now roll their eyes when I quote it. I'm almost 23 years old and even though it's a kid's show, it was MY kid's show. It came out when I was still just a little youngin and I will love it forever. Well, anyway back to the facts: we all know the strange details of the show (you probably won't be reading this unless you're a fan and already know of such details). Like, the world of Bikini Bottom is underwater, but they still have campfires, electricity, a "beach", and wear clothes. This will make reading and writing this fanfiction all the more easier and enjoyable. Anything goes!

Now, like I said, I never planned to write this crazy thing, so keep in mind I haven't put a whole lot of thought into it either. I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm excited, because I'm just going to let the story unfold and tell itself! One more thing you need to remember though is this fic is going to be more mature, more adult themed, so there'll be curse words and much, much more than that. That's why I'm rating it so highly, so please don't be offended. I'm wingin this thing. The only other little (major) detail to really know is my OC in this is a squid. No, Squidward is technically an Octopus, not a squid. But my OC is and her name is Octavia. Funny, right? Well, I thought it was. Enjoy the show!

**OCTOPUS ON TOP**

**CHAPTER 1**

It was 2 a.m. on a Sunday morning and all through Bikini Bottom not a sound was made; not the soft sway of the ocean waves or even a particularly loud snore from a cushy pillow. The fish world was quiet and content. There was no uncontrollable laughter coming from a pineapple, nor the unmistakable sound of a seahorse galloping through the beautiful garden a certain octopus had spent so much time perfecting... At least that's what Squidward kept telling himself.

Maybe if he ignored it or pretended like it wasn't actually happening, maybe then he could get some kind of sleep. Spongebob and Patrick had already been up for 4 hours longer than they should have. Didn't children like them sleep? AT ALL? Given, it was the weekend, but Squidward had to be up early that Sunday for Mr. Krabs. Don't ask him why he even agreed to it. That cheapskate Krabs was exceptionally good at getting him to work extra without the extra pay that was supposed to go with it.

_I don't even remember why he said he needed that garden hose... _He thought annoyingly to himself, turning over to his side. He could see the glow of Spongebob's house through his window and he glared bitterly from his canopy bed. Why didn't Krabs just ask that little yellow fuck? He'd have gladly gone to the Krusty Krab on his death bed, let alone a Sunday. The only sense this whole situation made was that everyone had it in their head that Squidward's life needed to suck just a little bit more.

The pessimistic octopus flopped to his back again, spreading his tentacles out to each side. This was his life. Maybe it was lack of sleep, but he was feeling the pressure of his existence more than usual on this cold and dark Sunday morning. What he wouldn't give for a little R & R...

"AAHHHH PATRICK IT'S TIPPING OVER! HURRY!"

"Ah crap!"

"PATRICK RUN! AHHHH AHHHH AHHHHHH!"

Squidward slammed a pillow over his face. _Please suffocate and kill me, dear sweet pillow. _Then he heard a loud crash that shook his windows. One of the framed paintings on his bedroom wall even shuttered and then smashed on the floor.

"DAHAHAHAHA!"

"UHUHUHUHHH!"

Squidward winced at the sound of the annoying laughter and then threw the pillow off his face. It landed beside the shattered frame with a puff of bubbles. He then sprang out of bed and ran to the window before he stuck half his body out and yelled, "WOULD YOU TWO IDIOTS _PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP?!__"_

The sun was due to rise in just a few hours and with its mocking glory, he'd be sitting in Krabs's office, really wishing it had been his head smashing on the floor and not that painting.

x-x-x

Sleep eventually came, but just briefly, for it seemed the moment Squidward began to dream, day began to break. Somewhere far off he heard the scallops singing in the coral trees just beyond his backyard. He was pulled further from unconsciousness when he imagined them shitting all over the stone walkway that winded through his garden. If it wasn't a bad enough way to wake up, there was also a knock at his door. Squidward instantly felt his anger boil up.

Well, he just couldn't wait, could he? The little yellow cereal box just had to ruin every waking and sleeping moment of his life. Why did he continue to stay here? How many opportunities had he encountered to finally get the hell out of Bikini Bottom (even just off the same street!) and he always found a reason to stay... And it was always one short, annoying, blue eyed reason.

"Stupid Spongebob..." He grumbled, fighting with his covers. He eventually untangled his many legs from the sheets and stomped out of his bedroom. He snatched his robe from the hook by the doorway and jammed his arms into it. The knock came again from his front door. "Maybe a SPONGE only needs to sleep two hours," he yelled down the stairs as he descended them. "But I am a much more complex being and I need several, uninterrupted hours!" He was going to do it this time. He was going to beat the shit out of that little- that little shit! He reached for the handle just as another knock was beating its way through the wood and a fresh wave of infuriation erupted beneath his skin. He swung the door open, almost hitting himself in the face with it, and arched his free fist back.

"SPONGEBOB, YOU RELENTLESS, CARELESS LITTLE-!"

Squidward's trembling arm froze in mid-punch. It wasn't Spongebob at all. It wasn't yellow, short or square. It was tall, thin and... covered in an over-sized sweatshirt that read _Shell Shack. _Its hood was up, covering what face it might or might not have had.

"Excuse me, if I could just have a moment of your time-" it spoke. Their voice was hoarse, unattractive, pleading... How annoying.

"I don't have time for a beggar right now," Squidward droned, lowering his fist and then bracing himself with it against the doorframe. "Run along now."

"But I just wanted to-" the blue mouth spoke from beneath the hood. It was all he could see.

"Tell ya what, if you're looking for someone who gives a shit, you've got the wrong house," he pointed at the giant pineapple next door. "You want that one." And before the hooded figure could say another word, he slammed the door and locked it. Then he shamefully watched through the peephole, both tentacles pressed against either side of it. Why did everyone want to ruin even the worst days for him?

_Go away, go away, go away..._

And as if it heard his thoughts, the figure walked away and up to Spongebob's house. It had barely raised a hand to knock (it wasn't a hand, though- looked like something else), when Spongebob, the square-boy-wonder, opened the door. Words were exchanged and the hooded thing went inside. The door closed and all was silent. Squidward leaned back away from the peephole with a sigh. "Thank Neptune," he whispered to the ceiling. "He's Spongebob's problem now."

x-x-x

Eugene Krabs was sitting in his office chair when Squidward slumped in. The look on the octopus's face was that of a child who'd been grounded and was finally hearing what the punishment was going to be. Eugene ignored the look and motioned with a claw for him to sit. The room was dark; just a small seashell lamp was shining on top of the desk. Squidward walked forward, his eyes narrowing at the large, red guy. What was he up to?

"So," Squidward said nasally and sat down. "What the hell did I need to bring _this_ for?" He held up a pile of tangled garden hose.

Mr. Krabs waved his claw again. "That was just to get yeh here, laddie."

Squidward slapped a tentacle to his forehead and clenched his eyes shut. "You've gotta be kidding me," he replied, his voice turning to a pitiful wine. "How do I fall for it every time?!"

"Because yer loyal to me, Mr. Squidward," the red fellow said softly.

The octopus looked up, dropping his rubbery limb back into his lap. "What's with you, Krabs? Why do you say it like that?"

Eugene looked down at his desk. "I don't wanna tell yeh."

Squidward hopped up from his chair. "Oh no, don't say that," he snapped. "I know what this is about."

"Eheheh you do?" Mr. Krabs asked nervously. "I guess you saw right through me, eh?"

"MIS-TER-KRABS," Squidward pleaded, getting down on his knees. "For the love of King Neptune DO NOT MAKE SPONGEBOB ASSISTANT MANAGER."

His boss looked back at him in confusion. "What the hell yeh talkin about?" He asked. "Get up, yer makin a fool outta yerself!"

Squidward stared blankly back at him for a moment, while he felt the color in his cheeks begin to darken. "Um..." He replied, standing up. "Then what's this about? What do you not want to tell me?"

"I'm makin YOU assistant manager!"

The words echoed through the small room. Squidward didn't move. His body was frozen in front of the desk that his employer sat behind, staring back at him with surprising remorse showing on his red face.

"Me?" the lazy employee spoke with such astonishment it surprised even him. "But why me-?"

"And actually," Mr. Krabs continued, looking down at his desk again. He swallowed several times. "I'm making you the owner of the Krusty Krab."

Squidward flopped back into his chair, his legs suddenly too weak to hold him. What the hell was going on? Krabs giving up his title? Giving away the restaurant? And why to him? Given, he didn't want to work under the little, yellow weirdo, but he at least cared about his job. Squidward would have left to another job, if not for... that same square reason...

"But why?" he demanded. "Why are you just handing over the restaurant? Is this a joke?"

"I don't joke about my business."

"Then what are you doing? I can't run this place-"

"I have to leave for a while, Squidward."

He was stunned to silence once more. He glanced at the walls, which he'd only just noticed were missing a few pictures of Pearl. "Mr. Krabs..." He said slowly. "What's going on?"

The owner of the Krusty Krab looked back at the scared, little octopus in front of him and shook his head. "Can't tell yeh that," he replied quietly, but firmly. "I'll be back after a while, maybe. You'll be fine. The restaurant isn't all that hard to run."

"But why me?" He blurted. "You know I hate this place! Spongebob would sleep upstairs in the loft every night with the mold and the spiders if he could! He loves this place! Give it to HIM! He knows everything about it!"

"I _can't..._" Eugene Krabs replied gravely, standing up. "And I think you know why."

Squidward watched him walk to the vault, turn the combination and then take a large bag out of it. He swung it over his shoulder and then turned back to face his former employee, whom now was merely his friend.

"But-but... Mr. Krabs, come on," Squidward began. "I know he gets a little over-whelmed sometimes. He's a people pleaser and wants everyone to get along and blah blah, but he's better for this job than I am!"

"HE IS NOT!" Eugene belted, his face even redder than usual. "I can't risk him having an episode like last time! The Krusty Krab needs to be looked after with a level head and I don't want Spongebob to... to have his spirit broken."

"Denying him this position will break his spirit," Squidward said bitterly, getting up from his chair.

"Maybe," Eugene said briskly, fastening the bag to his back and strapping it across his chest. Then he walked to Squidward and leaned in close to his face. "But his failure to please every unsatisfied customer who walks through that office door will break him as a person. He will never be the same again. I can't do that to the boy and you can't either, so _don't do it.__"_

_Easy for you to say._ He thought to himself._ Spongebob is gonna hate me._

"Sure," Squidward mumbled and then turned for the door.

"One more thing," he heard the crab say and he reluctantly turned around once more. He stared into the golden glimmer of the "KK" key. "You'll need this, bucko."

Squidward took the Krusty Krab Restaurant key from Eugene Krabs with a grunt and then left the building, intent on going back home and straight to bed. He heard Krabs say one more thing before the door shut behind him: "Don't let his spirit break."

"Feh," Squidward glared at the key in his hand and jammed it into his shirt pocket. Then he got in his boatmobile and began to drive home.

x-x-x

"Stupid canned bread."

He was sitting in his boat. He'd been there for an hour and a half, waiting for Spongebob to go back inside, but he just kept standing there talking and talking. He shouldn't have stopped at the market, but he thought if he'd stayed out a little longer, Spongebob would have gone out somewhere; he wouldn't have to face him. But there he was, skipping out of his pineapple the moment after Squidward pulled up. Now here he was, ducking down, with all four of his legs cramping and being forced to watch the little, square dude babble continuously at this other creature that was laughably out of his league.

She was tall and wonderfully blue and spectacularly limbed with four legs like his... She hadn't turned around, though. He couldn't see her face, just the long tendrils of her teal hair. Squidward's eyes traveled from the top of her head down the curves of her body and to the ground where her tentacled feet rested. Oh praise Neptune, it was another Octopus.

She just stood there, listening to yellow boy's jabber. Hopefully she wasn't out of her mind.. or ugly, since she hadn't turned around yet. Squidward waited in anticipation for the reveal of this said face. And all the while Spongebob laughed and made shapes with his hands and jumped around. Man he was annoying. How'd he come to be talking with this girl anyway? There was no boatmobile around or a bike. Did he just pick her up at the park or what-

"HI SQUIDWARD!"

"AAAIIIIIEEEE!" Squidward screamed and jumped clean out of his boat, landing hard on the sandy driveway. "Patrick! What the hell is wrong with you?!" He yelled at the pink starfish standing at the side of his boatmobile.

"I dunno," Patrick replied with a grin and a shrug. Then he walked away.

"Grrrr!" Squidward grumbled from his spot on the sand and dusted himself off. There was a silence in the air after that. He couldn't even hear Spongebob's incessant chatter anymore. He suddenly sucked in his breath, remembering it all again. He looked up just as a pair of crystal blue eyes were meeting his yellow ones.

"Squidward!" Spongebob cried, his eyes practically shining with tears. "Are you alright?!"

He felt his chin shudder just in the slightest. "I'm just f-!"

"Yeah, asshole. Are you alright?"

Squidward stopped dead in his sentence and looked past the blue eyes and connected instead with the green ones behind him. So that's what her face looked like... Damn it, she was prettier than he'd expected. And she was now staring at him like he was the very last person in the ocean that she wanted to see. And for what?!

"Hey!" He stood up and pushed past Spongebob. "Who the hell are you calling an asshole?!"

"Squidward, stop it!" Spongebob yelled after him.

"And you just push your friends aside, too," the blue creature observed, crossing long delicate arms over a full chest. She had a white t-shirt on that seemed much too small for her frame and brown shorts that seemed possibly even smaller, as they tried to conceal a finely shaped behind. "And you have a staring problem. How does anyone put up with you?"

Squidward's eyes trailed all over her body and now they came to rest on the lips which were speaking such bitter words from such a lovely voice. Those lips sure looked familiar...

x-x-x

A/N: Please review! It would mean a lot!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Her blue lips, so perfect yet so vile in the words they spewed. Squidward had to keep his knees from buckling beneath him, so he focused on what insult to throw next. That was, until he realized where he'd seen those lovely lips before.

_If I could just have a moment of your time. _Realization must have dawned on his face.

"Yeah, remember me, asshole?" She narrowed her almond-shaped, green eyes at him. Something was different about her; her face, the way it pulled up into high peaks on either side of her head, where small fin-like pieces of skin met her hairline and disappeared within the swirls of teal. Then he felt a familiarity start to creep into the back of his mind.

"You're..." He began and took in another look of her entire body, noticing the length of her arms and how skinny they were. "...a fuckin squid."

That earned him a surprisingly hard fist to the face and it wasn't the squid who did it... It was Spongebob. The blow knocked him flat on his back. Squidward looked up at the gasping yellow sponge, stunned by what his own fist had done. Spongebob shook his hand out and looked down at his friend reproachfully.

"I'm sorry, Squidward, but that was a terrible thing to say to a lady and such foul language needs punching."

Squidward stood up and brushed himself off for the second time that day, except this time he felt a black eye forming. "Well! I hadn't realized you were so poetic!" He yelled down at one of the only creatures left in his life that gave two shits about him.

"It isn't about that, Squidward!" Spongebob yelled back, taking a step toward the octopus. "I always try to stick up for you and you... All you do is bully everyone else!"

Rubbing the left side of his face, Squidward pushed past the little sponge again and headed for the house. "That's right. I do." He grumbled back. "I'm a bully and I'm glad! Why don't you take a hint and just _stop_ sticking up for me? Stay out of the life that you have no use in!" Then he went inside and slammed the door behind him. Another frame slid off the wall and shattered on the living room floor. Squidward slumped down to his butt and sat there against the wood.

"Fleh," he stuck his tongue out at the wall. "Take that you little, yellow fuck. Runaway and cry, MOVE away, hate me forever, never speak to me again and DO US BOTH A FAVOR!" Squidward's chest heaved with each lung full of oxygen he took in. All he did was say "squid" and "fuckin". Where's the harm in that? Especially if you did it in that order... He suddenly felt a tug deep inside his stomach. Oh, he wasn't even going to go there. Squidward shook his head vigorously. She was horrific anyway. Especially since Spongebob was involved. Any friend of Spongebob's was a lunatic. Still...

He couldn't believe he'd cast away such a beautiful creature from his doorstep. Probably for the best, since she turned out to be a raving bitch. What was even more unbelievable was that Spongebob had actually HIT him. That was reason enough to never speak to the little twerp again. Well, praise Neptune and goodbye Spongebob. He'd never again have to deal with him and that was fine by the octopus.

Squidward peered out the window and was surprised to see no one was out there at all. Good. No noise. Maybe he could finally go to bed. It was the middle of the day, but who cares? He didn't have to be at work until tomorrow morn-

"Ah shit!" he slapped his forehead and then winced at the tenderness of the flesh. "Work. I forgot about work. I have to warn Spongebob."

Just when he thought the nightmares of his life would end...

_Well, I'll try talking to him after I get some sleep,_ he thought honestly._ There's plenty of time before work begins tomorrow..._

x-x-x

But there wasn't plenty of time. He would have known this if he'd checked his shirt pocket before climbing into bed that afternoon. For, when he awoke and realized it was missing-

"NOOOOO!"

A scream was heard from next door as Spongebob was just setting out his pet snail's dinner. He looked over at his guest, sitting on the couch. She rolled her eyes.

"Somebody probably showed him a mirror," she shrugged her bony shoulders.

"I'm gonna go check on him," Spongebob said quickly and put on his coat. "Wait here, Octavia and I'll be right back."

"Spongebob, wait!" Said the pretty, blue squid. "You just clocked that guy a few hours ago. Don't go 'check on him'. He doesn't deserve it!"

"I can't not go," he replied seriously, opening the door. "He's my friend."

"What kind of a friend treats other people that way?" she asked, getting up from the couch. "I couldn't even get a full sentence out before he slammed the door in my face!"

"I'll be right back," Spongebob repeated and then left. Octavia sat back down and stared at the door.

"But he doesn't care about you," she said to the empty room.

x-x-x

Spongebob walked into Squidward's house without knocking, because friends had special privileges of doing so sometimes. The first thing he saw was the upturned couch in the living room and his friend's round head bobbing around behind it.

"W-where could I have put it?!" He was saying to himself, flipping cushions frantically across the room. One almost hit Spongebob and he had to duck to miss getting pelted. "I'm dead! I'm so dead! I can't even hold onto a STU-PID-KEY!"

Spongebob stepped forward into the room a little more, taking caution to the fact that Squidward was probably going to throttle him in the emotional state he was in. "Um... Squidward?" He said quietly.

"Not now, Spongebob," he replied back instantly without looking up. "Can't you see I'm busy?" He then ran right past the obvious sponge in the room, like he really didn't see him at all. His yellow eyes were scanning every inch of every wall, every floor tile, and yet he still didn't seem to see him.

"Squidward, are you looking for a key?" Spongebob asked naively, watching the other one pace quickly from room to room.

"I said not NOW!" Squidward whipped around, finally laying true eyes on the sponge. The first thing he saw was the golden key resting in his outstretched hand.

"Is this what you're looking for?" The yellow one asked innocently.

Squidward stared from the key, back up to Spongebob's face, then back at the key again. "Where..." He said, grabbing for it.

It was pulled behind the sponge's back. "I found it in your driveway," Spongebob said defensively, keeping it from the octopus's reach.

"Spongebob, give it back."

"Why do you have it?" He asked instantly. "Mr. Krabs never lets anyone touch this key. Why did you take it?"

"I don't like your TONE," Squidward snapped back, reaching both arms around the boy and grabbing for the key again.

Spongebob wriggled away from him and ran behind the upturned couch. "No! I can't believe you stole it!"

"SpongeBOB!" Squidward yelled incredulously. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Like I would steal the damn key to the DAMN Krusty Ass Krab!"

"Don't talk about the Krusty Krab like that!" Spongebob fumed back. His face was getting red.

"I'm having an argument with a child," he mumbled to himself. "You know, you've got a lot of nerve. You already HIT me today and now you're adding insult to injury! I DIDN'T STEAL THE FUCKING KEY!" And then he launched himself over the couch and tackled the key-holder.

"AHHHH HELP! SQUIDWARD'S TRYING TO KILL ME!"

Squidward clamped a tentacle over his mouth. "Would you be quiet!" He hissed, pulling the gold from the sponge's tight fist. "They'll think I really am!" Once the key was retrieved, Squidward pushed himself up off of Spongebob and stood over him.

Spongebob looked up at him pitifully.

"Ah come on," he sighed. "You know I hate that place. I wouldn't steal the KEY to it... Mr. Krabs gave it to me."

Spongebob's face turned to confusion. "Gave it to you?" He questioned, holding his hand out to be helped up. "Why, did he make a copy or something?"

"No, at least I'm pretty sure he didn't," said Squidward, looking down at the tiny, yellow hand. "Mr. Krabs just left it with me for a while."

When Squidward didn't make a move to take his hand, Spongebob dropped it back to his side. "Is he going somewhere?" The boy asked, his voice just a bit crestfallen.

"Yeah, he just needed to take a vacation," Squidward answered coolly and lifted the couch back to its original position. Then he began gathering the cushions from around the room. He picked one up and smacked the side of it with his tentacle, knocking the dust off. Then he turned to place it back where it belonged and almost ran into Spongebob.

"What are you hiding, Squidward?"

"Aiiee!" The octopus jumped a foot in the air. "What's with everyone sneaking up on me today?!" Spongebob stared hard into his eyes, looking capable of hitting him again, maybe intent on blackening his other eye. This made him instinctively reach a tentacle up and touch the tender spot.

Spongebob's face softened at this motion and he looked away from his friend. "I'm sorry I hit you."

Squidward rolled his eyes. "Oh puh-leez. You caught me off guard, you little prick." He walked to the couch and placed the cushion on it. He stood there for a moment with his back to his guest and swallowed down the hard lump forming in his throat. Who knew if Mr. Krabs was ever even coming back? He made it sound like the possibility was slim to none... Still, Spongebob needed to know that tomorrow morning they were entering into the restaurant, not as colleagues, but as employer and employee. "Spongebob, I need to tell you something..." He began, clenching his fists atop the back of the couch. "But I want you to know that I had nothing to do with this decision." Squidward turned around. "Mr. Krabs made me the- huh!"

The first thing that hit him was the cool breeze of the night, drifting through the open front door. The second was that Spongebob had also left out that door, before he'd even had a chance to explain himself.

The octopus walked forward and out of his house. The lights were still on in the pineapple to his left, but that just made it easier to see as the little guy made his way past the squid in his living room without another word. Squidward couldn't see where he'd gone. The girl stood and said something to him and a moment later Spongebob came back into view. He talked animatedly with his hands, waving them around a bit, but his face was drawn down, sad, unfaltering. Squidward leaned his forehead on the doorframe. The girl began to talk and Spongebob walked out of sight again, ignoring her.

"Well, that was kind of rude..." He said to himself.

"Yeah it was."

"AAIIIEEE!" Squidward jumped two feet this time and was snuck up on, once again. He clutched at his rapidly beating heart and turned to see a spacesuit standing just behind him. "SANDY!" He gasped at the squirrel. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was just about to go and ask that squid the same thing," she replied in a thick, Texan accent. "I didn't know Spongebob had a 'permanent' guest."

Squidward looked from the now dark pineapple, back to the flustered squirrel. "Uhh.. Honestly, I have no idea why she's even over there." Except for the fact that he'd _sent_ the squid over there. "Spongebob's probably just helping her out. Don't get your fur in a bunch."

But Sandy looked as if she didn't hear him. The squirrel took one more frustrated look at the pineapple house and walked away, back into the darkness where she came. Squidward watched her go and then shivered. Man, everyone was so damn emotional lately. It was creepy. He, too, took one more long glance at the house and then went inside his own. Everyone was getting a little too crazy for his taste.

x-x-x

Maybe it was because of that days events, but Squidward's dreams that night were much more intense than they usually were. Well, actually, he didn't usually dream at all, but that night he did.

He didn't even know where he was. It was dark, but he could hear echoey floorboards creak under his feet each time he took a step. The smell of wet seaweed and crystallized salt met his senses. It was cool, yet humid and sticky. Then he tripped over something and went sprawling across the wood flooring. He turned to look and was met face-to-face with a box of patty buns. The whole room came into view then. He was in the storeroom. Boxes and crates and old mops lined the walls. It was still dark, though. The only light was an overglow that seemed to come from one corner of the room and that was it. It was dim and certain further corners were completely black and he couldn't see into them at all. It made him uneasy.

Squidward tried to stand up to move to the exit (and get the hell out of there!), but his leg was stuck on something. He looked down and saw a pair of tentacles wrapped tightly around one of his. They stretched all the way across the room and into one of the dark corners. He couldn't see what was at the other end of them and he didn't want to find out either. Panic set in, as usual, and Squidward freaked the fuck out.

"Help!" He called to anyone who might hear him in his dream or even outside of it. "Help, something- something's got m-!"

"_Something?_" He heard a voice say, but it came from all over the room, maybe even inside his head. It was livid, frightened and offended all at the same time. "_I'm not a some_thing_. I'm a some_one!"

"Leave me alone!" Squidward yelled back at it cowardly.

"Why don't you want me around?" Someone else spoke. Squidward looked toward the exit door and saw Spongebob standing there. His chest had a gaping, bloody hole in it, where light poured through from the other side. The light was beckoning him to the side of freedom.

"Of course I want you around," Squidward reached a hand out. "But this thing has got me right now. Help me, Spongebob. Help me."

Spongebob looked past him, questioningly. "There's nothing there, Squidinator," he smiled happily. "Don't be a little prick!"

Squidward felt a knot form in his stomach. "Spongebob!" He yelled, but his voice trailed off and then he couldn't speak at all. And all the while, Spongebob was smiling on and on, because what else could he do? That's what he'd say right now. What else can I do, but smile? One of my best friends hates me and calls me a little prick, so I smile and call him one back. Am I as bad as you, Squidward? He could hear his little voice.

"Am I just as bad as you?"

_No_. Squidward thought._ No, you will never be anything that I am._

"Why did you let me break?" Spongebob put his little hands to his face and sobbed. "Why did you let me fall and break? Mr. Krabs warned you."

The hole in his chest began to grow and widen and with it came a blinding light. Squidward shielded his eyes from it, squeezing them shut. Before he knew it, his head was spinning and he closed his eyes tighter. When he opened them again he was awake, but he thought he might still be dreaming. His eyes did not open upon the canopy of his bed, no not even to the ceiling of some other part of his house. His eyes now looked upon the bright, golden sky of dawn. How he ended up outside, he didn't have a clue. But he'd have to figure it out later, because his first order of business of the day was to get down to the Krusty Krab and try to do a job he never ever thought would be burdened on him.

x-x-x

a/n: thanks for reading!


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